Tempers flare when Coach gives managers player award to his own Son..

Yes, I did the seemingly unthinkable after weeks of consideration I decided to award a player with the Managers Player award, this player was my son who plays on the team.

I’m absolutely appalled by the response from some of the parents who openly said in front of other parents and players, “Your out of order, to keep things fair you should have chosen anyone but your son”


To keep things fair I should not even have considered one of the players!!! My own son, I wonder how anyone else would feel if I had said the same about their child.

If I had given this award to any other player, not an eyebrow would have been raised, I can’t believe how much animosity it has caused to award my son with something.

It was a difficult decision, I considered many factors:

  • Attitude
  • Going above and beyond
  • Sacrificing for the team
  • Willing to play in goal and Defence
  • Virtually every game starting on the bench
  • Helping me set up and put away whatever the weather
  • Attending club and league meetings
  • Patting me on the back when I was down

My son deserved the award, It wasn’t “Because it was my son” thats why it took me so long to make the decision.

I can stand with my head held high and say I made the right decision for the right reasons, Why does my son, also a team member not deserve to be eligible for managers player. I would love to know the general opinion on this if possible.


11 thoughts on “Tempers flare when Coach gives managers player award to his own Son..

  1. You so did the right thing in awarding your son the trophy and I’m sure his little face was a picture when his name was called out. Your son will be in your team probably a lot longer than some of the other players and will have to put up with a lot more of arriving early, leaving late and all that goes with having a dad/coach. My own son manages and coaches an under 8’s team and his son does the same as yours. He didn’t have a managers player trophy this year but a player of the season and a most improved player and put it out to the mums and dads so it was their choice. Keep up the good work, I’m sure your team appreciate all you do.

    1. Yeah I think you did the right thing, and you have explained why, so it is right to expect everyone to accept it and congratulate your son for his contribution to the team.

      I think nearly all volunteer coaches will encounter this predicament at some point. In these cases, it’s helpful if there’s someone else who you could consult on the decision. Someone who helps out at training maybe. I made my son captain but only after a couple of other coaches in the club has assured me it was the right choice.

      1. My hubby coach made our son captain as he said he had all the credentials needed. He has proved himself and all the parents we now have are saying how suited he is to the role but one parent (you always get one!!) said my hubby was being bias!!!

  2. I couldn’t agree more, same thing happened to me. Even though my coach picked the award, I still felt guilty. Found it really difficult to be happy and chuffed for my boy for fear of the parents reaction.

    In the end the parents seemed ok about it, but is hard!

  3. I agree with you, My Son helps me with putting the nets up corners flags respect barriers and marking the pitches out, all before the other member turn up.

  4. I was in a similar position a couple of years ago when I was one of three assistant coaches (I’m now manager). The manager asked our opinions and put my son forward as he had been one of the stand out players that year. His attitude and work ethic was above and beyond what was expected. Although not the most technically gifted, he was a leader on the pitch and always gave 100% in training and matches. The other coaches agreed and he got the shield on presentation day. Would I make the same call now I am manager? Having read your story yes, but I’m not sure I would have if not. Well done. He is as much part of the team as everyone else. Parents only see what happens on the pitch. It’s the things we, as coaches, see off it that has to be considered as well.

  5. I gave managers player to my son once because he deserved it up and above most it too wasn’t an easy decision. But I got some funny looks there was the odd parent who you could tell were not best pleased as they didn’t speak to me like the others. If you can justify the decision with evidence then rightly so. Hes not your son on the team he’s another player. So well done stand by your decision

    1. And when it’s the two coaches sons ? Could look like favourites but they deserve it. And 1 other on a team too but not allowed 3 trophies

  6. We had the same issues when I first started coaching, my son was the managers player that season with the most assists, goals and team play. So he was awarded the managers player. After the usual chatter within the group, the following year I decided not to award him it again, but to buy him one myself. I made it clear it was off me and not the club budget and issued the managers to another player who was a developing player, not the best but always there, working hard and giving his all and it still caused problems. I’ve since opted to do this every year to avoid the issues with over expectant parents who always have an opinion but never get involved. The trophy states managers player, but it was presented as managers son award to still avoid further problems. The funniest part was after I decided not to award my son a special award and explained to him why, he was fine and understood it was due to Mums and Dads not him. Then he was voted parents player of the season anyway so why complain, makes no sense ??????? One moaning parent can seem to be all of them as the coach, tends to be ring lead rather than group dynamics TBH.

    For my latest U7 team I’ve decided to buy extra trophies to give all players a special award in their first season and then move to selection from U8.

  7. And in this position too. He deserves an award. Then the other coach helping out also deserves an award. But then it seems like it’s the sons of the coaches 🤷

  8. All managers have the same problem. Managers player does not have to be for the player who scored the most goals, played the most games or is the best player. That award is normally awarded the Players Player and voted by his own teams mates. Supporters Player once you have told parents they cannot vote for their own child!! is again a choice taken out of your hands. Managers Player can be for best attitude, team leadership any attribute that contributes positively to your team. So if any managers feels their son genuinely deserves the award then do not have any guilt or hesitation in awarding him that trophy. Unfortunately in football you will always find some managers who will find an award for their child each year and that is why it is a difficult decision for those managers who genuinely do it for the right reasons.

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